Whom to marry? - Chaye Sara

Thursday, 21 November, 2019 - 4:42 am

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Based on an article from Rabbi Tauber

The most difficult question to answer is often the one with a very simple answer. Because a simple answer seems to insult our intelligence and is difficult to answer. But many times, the solution to complicated problems is very simple.

Whom to marry?

What does the Torah say about this crucial choice?

The first couple in the world was Adam and Eve. The bride was "made to order" for Adam. When he said to Eve, "You are the only woman in the world for me," she knew he was telling the truth. There is a lot to learn from Adam and Eve about married life but not about how to choose a spouse.

The next marriage described in the Torah is the one of Isaac and Rebbeca. Abraham by then had many possibilities for his son. How did he choose?

He sent his servant Eliezer to Charan with ten camels loaded with gifts. There, where Abraham’s family lived, he hoped to find a suitable bride.

Eliezer arrived at the well in Charan, prayed and designed a plot. Ask the young ladies there to give him some water. If the young woman would answer him to get himself water, she was not suitable. If she gave him water, it was good but not enough. If the young lady, not only offered him water, but offered to give water to the camels, she would be ideal to become Isaac’s bride.

There is a lot to learn from this story. But the most important is that our spouse does not need to be beautiful or wealthy, to like the same music or make us laugh. The most important is to marry someone with a good heart.

Shabbat Shalom,


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