Where did the 2 of you meet?

This past Shabbat was also our anniversary (thank you, thank you for your kind wishes J ).

We got married the 15th of Av, in Paris, nine years ago. And how did we meet? Here is the story that we are often asked about.

I was a teacher in France, Mendel was studying in Brooklyn. He became friendly there with my uncle and used to hang out in his house with some friends. My uncle “set his eye” on the charming young man ;-) and thought he would be a perfect match for his equally charming niece (that’s me!). Mendel was scheduled to visit his parents for the holiday of Pesach so he decided to make a stopover in France for a few days and meet me. So he came, and then came again after Pesach, then I traveled to the States where we got engaged! (how’s that for a shortcut for hours and hours of conversation? J).

Many people ask us if we had an arranged marriage: I like to answer that yes, it was arranged in Heaven, as are all marriages. But they mean, was it a “shiduch”? My answer is: if by “shiduch”, you mean a forced marriage when the bride and the groom meet the night of the wedding, no way!!! (such arranged marriages are a myth anyway). “Shiduch” means that the young boy and girl are introduced to each other by an intermediary (the Shadchan, famous hero of many jokes), which is often a friend or a family member. There are also professional matchmakers, and they are usually very sensitive and careful in their job.  Before the young couple meets, the parents take great care in finding out information about the potential match, in order to make sure it is suiting. This helps to avoid a lot of time wasted on unsuitable dates, as well as a lot of heartache if the young people get involved romantically before discovering serious character flaws. But then, the young couple meets on its own, and is free to decide to get married and build a house together… or not.

See also this excellent article about arranged marriages.